wait a second, we're in this weird space of time between Christmas and New Year's. It's like the festivities of Christmas have not quite worn off and life hasn't exactly gone back to normal, and at the same time we're celebrating again this next coming weekend for the sake of a new year.
can I just step back for a second and realize that: a lot can happen in a year. I'm sitting with a cup of Lady Grey in my hand right now and honestly, from this point in time last year, I feel like I am a slightly different version of myself.
I guess in the midst of living you don't quite realize the amount of change that occurs in your heart and head, but to switch the perspective to a size bigger means seeing that, wow, we're still ourselves, but we're learning & growing.
I try to choose to put the concept of "time" in a positive light, because, although time passes and we get older and we may miss old memories and experiences, time is a gift. It's provided. It's given by God - He, Himself knowing that we will abuse it, take advantage of it, waste it. And still He lets us use with it what we will. I like to see time, as it continues to go, as opportunity and expectation to learn new things and grow in new ways, not just wishing it would slow down.
Instead of following my own pace of time or the world's pace of time, I want to be more aware of and seek to follow God's pace of time. And God's timing is a mystery - it fluctuates. it slows down and speeds up in seasons of both uncertainty and steadiness, of patience and receiving. Just like the messiness of people, their fluctuating emotions and actions and expectations and intentions, the unknown answers that can sometimes appear cloudy, God's answers in his pace of time are cloudy, too.
maybe sometimes, in His gift of free will, He lets the Holy Spirit living in us act or choose first before He reveals Himself. Maybe in our doubt, we use our heads and heart to take the next step and expect God to be on the other side. His silence to our questions doesn't mean He isn't working. Maybe it requires a prayerful heart and trust to go out on a limb - and then find that that is where the most fruit is.
friends, people of God, in the new year, I honestly just hope that we rely on God's pace of time. Not only rely on it, but keep with it and be aware of it. Live in step with the Holy Spirit, daily dependent on grace, confident in His plans for us. Not rushing to keep new year's resolutions for a week before slipping back into old habits or stopping them completely, not holding ourselves to such ridiculously high perfections to be "good" people. No. in the new year, embracing the messiness of life includes the utter amazement and overwhelming awe of how messy we are, but then the surrendered, raw joy that God loves our messes.
And through loving our messes, He works through and in our own messes, whether it be in reflection of ourselves or in the relationships with those we love - He's accomplishing good.
There's this belief with every fiber of my being that He is good. that's the song I want to sing.
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