Being

Have you ever thought, or written down, or really truly thought about who you are? What you do, what you like, what your morals are, what you talk about, what you secretly are like without anyone looking or judging or noticing? I think that is when we are the most real, and the most true to ourselves: when no one is glancing at us, when society is not there, and when we are alone. 

Surely, depending on who you are with, I think certain people bring out different parts of our personalities, good or bad. But all in all, I've realized that when I spend time alone, usually in my bedroom with a cup of tea and fuzzy socks, that that is the true me that no one ever gets to see.

I think sometimes we can lose sight of who we are because of the constant pressures of the world around us. Many times, we try to reach a social expectation that ends up influencing us to be different. And it feels weird. It feels weird because it isn't who we really are, or what we are like. I've struggled with this, even in smaller groups of people, because I want the certain approval to be good enough, act good enough, or look good enough. Through wanting that, parts of me have changed, and must I say, not in the most positive ways. 

It's a selfish motive, really. Turns out, thinking and wanting that very thing wraps myself up in myself. And I continue to want it anyway. Funny how we want that, though. Approval. From people. Why can't we just be satisfied with who we are and leave it at that? I have yet to figure that out, because I have no idea.

When discouragement sets in, it's important to realize who I really belong to. Who we really belong to. God has captivated my heart and set out to search for me through the tangled mess of my selfish desires. No matter how many times we turn and run away to seek approval, security, beauty, desire, and love through the things of this world, God always catches up to us and reminds us that He's never left our side. He still wants my rotten heart, and has already approved of it. I don't need, and cannot find, approval from other people, but can only try to grasp the indescribable concept that God has created us by His own hand, and because He has crafted and is molding us, His handiwork has already been approved through His eyes. 

We don't need anything else.

Song of the Day: Don't Go Slow by Benjamin Francis Leftwich
Quote: "And I, too, wanted to be."