Recently, life has conjured a pressure for the future. For college. For where I'll end up fifteen years from now.
It scares the bejeezees out of me.
I guess I had been avoiding the process of college and school in general because it seemed farther away, and I trusted God to take care of the process in His own time.
I've looked at a few colleges recently, maybe made some decisions about what type of community, the types of classes, the ability to learn, the Christ-aspect, the distance from home, but none of those are set in stone.
I've tried so hard to live in the "now" this year. Enjoying friendships, times with others, worshipping the Lord in every moment, laughing more than worrying, seeing God work in my own heart, and really be devoted to reaching out to others and pursuing God more than ever before. However, all of sudden, it's like the future can't be avoided. Like I can't stuff it back in it's own little corner and worry about it sometime later when it actually needs to be thought about.
I need to be remembering that the future is not our business to worry about, because God already knows the end and knows how to get to the end. Trusting is easier said than done, but I've been struggling with that more and more the more I think about what I want to study and where I want to go. His will will be perfectly played out wherever I end up, because He planted me there. I guess now it's just a challenge to grow.
1 Peter has been on my brain this week. It may be a verse well-known, but that doesn't make it any less important to remember and repeat.
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7
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