It is the beginning of a new month: June. Filled with thirty days, four weeks, hours in each day, minutes in each hour. It's officially safe to say that it's summer. And boy have I waited long.
Watermelon and swimming and wet hair and bleached hair and red skin and sand and green grass and squishy dirt and fields and messy buns and bare feet and iced tea and pasta salad and lawn chairs and good books and sunshine...
This week has been all over the place.
But I'm ready for life to look up. No matter how much that scares me, and how much fear I have about tomorrow, and next week, and in two months, and this time next year, I still want to look up.
More recently, I've been thankful for times I've gotten to spend with people and been thankful for other situations that seem to be improving. But there's been this overarching fear over all of it. Fear that I'm taking to big a step, fear that it won't be good in the end, fear that I'll lose, fear that I'll run away.
I guess I'm having a hard time trusting that God will take care of me. I've seen brokenness, and I guess it's possible to not put things in God's hands when they haven't turned out before. "Trusting God". It's so cliche, because it's so broad and general and it's obvious that lots of people are struggling with it.
But it's still relatable and applicable and there.
Even though I'm afraid, I can be afraid so long as I look up. And I can only look up through the strength the Lord gives me to look up. Not any of my own. Relying that I can look up myself if God does the work isn't how it plays out. Relying on God's strength to help me look up and acknowledging that He will take care of me and the people I love and the relationships I have and the circumstances I am in, is how He can work.
"Do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will take care of itself."
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