Overstuffed with food, we went to The Red Barn tonight for dinner. Having been there before, I knew I'd be coming out about to explode from being so stuffed with good food. My grandparents are well-known in the LaRussell area from all of their customers through their feed store, but even in Mount Vernon at this restaurant there were at least three times when my grandparents said, "Hey there! How're you doing?"to two sets of couples and even our waitress, who all knew both of them.
It blows my mind how many people they know and how many people know them. I've always admired their genuine kindness to those they know and the general hospitality they give. Everyone knows everyone in LaRussell, and I guess I've noticed how back at home, getting to know people in a bigger community seems to be underrated and different.
For me, it's even hard to simply remember someone's name whom I've just met and want to get to know. Lots of unknown faces go by every day, and not enough smiles go around. Being at my Nana and Papa's store there in town shows the value of community that I wish the world could see.
To some, this meal may seem odd, but growing up with an appreciation for catfish is what I love. Catfish, fried okra, homemade potato chips, a hunk of bread, tartar sauce (not my favorite but usually served with catfish) and hominy. If you wonder what hominy is, click here.
It's an acquired taste, and I seem to like it okay.
Leaving room for dessert, there's a case of different kinds of pie, turnovers, cookies, and cupcakes at the front of the restaurant. Coconut cream, lemon meringue, chocolate cream (in the picture), peanut butter with drizzled chocolate, cherry, apple, and raspberry pies all lined up in that case waiting to reach the watering mouths of hungry customers. We most definitely ate our share.
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I was thinking a lot about my fears yesterday night and throughout the day today and how much they seem to dominate me. And, just starting yesterday through journaling, I've written this on the paper:
The more I write each of them down, I feel myself get worked up, anxious, and overwhelmed by all I fear. However, I think praying through them helps them subside as God works.
Pouring them out in chaos to the Lord and processing them there gives honesty to what we truly struggle with, and isn't denying or stuffing them within ourselves.
After all, as a baby, we come into the world with a cry of fear.
So it's okay to fear.
I listened to a sermon awhile back that mentioned "Relocating Your Glory". "If you are developing a deep anxiety in something, then you've located your glory/significance/weight in something good...but then you've also put your worth and identity and security in things that are finite." Psalm 3:3 says, "But You, Oh Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."
The "lifter of my head" is someone who says, "you're enough, you're great." God's love and approval wins over all the other things that we put our significance in. How do we know? Jesus was cut off from the world on Calvary's Hill. Darkness came, and that's how we know how much He loves us, and thinks we're enough. His perfect Love casts out our fear.
Fear --> self-centeredness
Love --> self-giving
In community and in love, we cannot live in fear alone.
I like the word "But" in that verse from Psalm 3. To me, it means:
I fear a lot of things. Too many things..
But, God will heal us through our fears and He will heal us of our fears.
After all, "if God is for us, who can be against us?"
love, caitlyn
Awesome!
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